Me, Myself & I directed by Victoria Judith North

I created this film at a film residency in Bir, under the mentorship of Kamal Swaroop. I had been travelling in India for several months and stumbled upon the residency and thought how it might be fun to create a film as I love acting and watching films and always been fascinated in the process. At first Kamal and I spoke at length about how I didn’t so much have a desire to learn how to edit or produce a film, but more so that I had something I wanted to say. Over the duration of the residency, I discovered while speaking to Kamal that I wanted to create a film about our internal critic and ally and how, when we get so stuck in our own minds it can cripple us and make it so we are always living in the past and not moving forward with our lives.

The course was the hardest 10 days of my life, in truth, as it really tested me because I was battling with my overthinking mind and never felt like I was good enough or doing the right thing. However, with the support of Kamal and the Cinemaya team, I was able to complete the course and produce my film. At first, it was going to be a play I had written called “To Centre” and 2 other actors playing the critic and ally were going to be in the film. However, last minute one person had to drop out and so I was left, on the last evening of shooting to perform. I didn’t know the script well enough to shoot it all alone and was ready to throw in the towel. However, Kamal then spoke to me and said how I’m a natural actress and the script is in my head, so why not just create a stage for me and perform. After thinking about it for a few minutes I agreed and within 2 hours the set was created and I did 3 rounds of improvisation, we had 2 cameras set up and one cameraman, Aman our DOP, following me as I acted and they had a live stream for everyone to watch (I didn’t know this until after the first take!). It was an amazing experience and the people watching said they could really relate to the things I was saying and that I was so brave to open myself up so honestly.

After shooting, due to the project we had to get an external editor to help, Arvind Menon. I spoke with him and explained the concept of the film and he went through all the footage and pieced together sections that would work well together and tell a story. He had literally 2 days to do it and so it was a rough guide and then later, DOP Aman Kakkar and I sat down and added extra bits to make it more chaotic feeling and more of an ending to the film showing she will try to change.